Me: “So, I’ve been seeing the most amazing girl.”
Mom: “Really, what’s she like?”
Me: “Well, first of all she’s beautiful. Not in that too beautiful to leave alone for a little at a bar beautiful, but in that just right next door neighbor puppy eyes kind of beautiful. And also she’s smart. Really smart. She graduated college in only three years so she could pursue her other interests. Which mainly include helping people. She’s done Peace Corps, Greenpeace, and fought on the front line in Iraq. She loves kids and tutors handicapped children three times a week. Plus she can sing, dance, and is currently performing in a one-woman off-Broadway show called, Me, Myself and Iraq. Oh, and she also juggles. Not just all her responsibilities. But balls. Pins. Clubs set on fire. Chainsaws. Up to five at a time. She went to clown school for a semester. She has such a great sense of humor. We just laugh and laugh when we’re together. And she’s in great shape. She once ran the New York City marathon while pushing one of her students in a wheel-chair. I’ve seen the pictures. On weekends she volunteers in the invalid ward at the hospital. She dresses in her clown costume and changes their bandages–bringing a little bit of cheer to people who otherwise have nothing to smile for. They call her “Our Angel.” In the future she hopes to open and operate B.I., her own N.G.O, for beleaguered infants. She is just one of a kind. Beautiful, selfless, smart, hilarious, genuine, and best of all she really loves me. Oh mom, she’s unbelievable.”
Mom: “But is she Jewish?”
