How dumb were Democrats when choosing directions to go with left and leave the Republicans with the option of being right? That’s pretty much like having a strategy meeting and electing to fight an uphill battle. No, you guys start up there with a name synonymous with correctness and normalcy, we’ll just start off down here with a name that sounds like we didn’t pass a grade and throw like a little girl. It’ll be a fair fight.
You’re telling me that one side in our public discourse is called right, as in true and logical, and one side is left as in behind and out? And everyone on that second side is just okay with that. No wonder no one wants to sound like their leaning that way.
Why didn’t Democrats just choose wrong? You guys can have right, we’ll take wrong. It’s not like it matters. No one listens to grand categorical generalizations anyway. The American public is a nation of nuance. We’ve always rejected any broad stroke.
I understand taking blue over red. Blue is manly. Blue is a boy. Blue is the ocean, the sky, and a troop of men who beat drums. Blue is jazz music and a candy-stained mouth. Blue is a word that takes you to a web-page. That’s some power. That’s magic. Blue makes sense.
Red just looks angry. It just looks like a bull charging at you with blood-shot eyes. States look down-right frightening when they fill up with red. They look like a fiery hell on earth. They look like they’ve had a few too many and now want to go out and beat someone who looks at them funny.
Donkey may not have been the best decision though. Not that elephant is so much better. And not that either really influences voters. I don’t think anyone in the voting booth takes into account the animalistic personification of either party. That would be ridiculous.
But I do think they may take into account which party is considered right. Right: “In accordance with what is good, proper, or just.” And which party is considered left. Left: “To leave behind”. This according to dictionary.com. Someone definitely got the short-end of the rhetorical stick there.
Yet we just prod right along with the dichotomy. Because that’s what we like. Simple opposites. We’re left, you’re right, and fuck the middle. The middle? Come on; make up your mind already. Trying to play both sides, how awful. Everyone knows a great leader only plays to one part of a population. You can’t please everyone.
Imagine we switched it so that Republicans were left and Democrats were right. How weird is that? It sounds as funny to read as it was to type. Right-winged Democrat. Republican on the far-left. What the hell is happening? Everything we’ve known as throat-rammed voters is all of a sudden coming back up, and its making us teary-eyed and sweaty.
Left and right are directions. Three blocks to the left and then two to the right. Oh yeah, just turn left at that next light. That’s all they need to be. They just need to tell us which hand to put in the air, or over our heart, or to hold a pen with. They’re just words. That’s why it’s such a bummer that the Democrats chose the wrong one.
