I am so excited to not have to write about politics for a while. Honestly, I kind of hate politics. I’ve just really had no choice. No one want to reads to read a column with its body buried in the sand. And there comes times when even the most apolitical writer has to try to make a point. Or else, what’s really the point at all?
But now, I am just thrilled to not have to write about politics. To not have to write about Obama’s first appointment, Rahm Emanuel, being the son of an Israeli. And how for two years we heard that an Obama presidency would mean the death of Israel, and within two days we learned how ridiculous that truly was. Yeah, Bush/McCain are better for Israel. Just look at all the great things they’ve accomplished over there.
It is just so liberating to not have to keep writing about politics. About how moveon.org better fucking stop e-mailing me or I’m going to move on over to a gun store and hunt down Eli, Aaron, Adam G., Adam R., Aisling, Andrea, Anna, Ben, Carrie, Daniel, Dave, Erik, Ilyse, Joan, Justin, Karin, Laura, Lenore, Marika, Matt, Michael, Tanya, and Wes one by one and unsubscribe all them from this world.
Free at last. Free at last. To be able to write about sports, and television, and humorous anecdotes about my daily doings—what a relief! Whew. It’s like a breath of fresh air has swept through me and out my keyboard. I hope I never have to write about politics again.
What a drag it would be to have to write about why the hell Sara Palin is still in the spotlight? Shouldn’t she start shriveling up and dying up there in Alaska? I don’t understand why she’s still doing interviews. Who wants to hear what a stupid loser has to say? Whenever I need advice, I always go to the person that finished in second place. Especially if they finished in second place for second place.
And you’ve got to be kidding me talking about will she run in 2012. Listen, I don’t care whether she runs or not, I don’t care whether she walks or not, and I don’t care whether she flies or not. At this point I don’t care whether she wins or not, I just can’t believe that we’re actually talking about the presidential election of 2012. We just got done with 2 years of election coverage. Give it a rest. Everybody exhale for Christ’s sake.
God it feels good to not have to write about Obama going to the White House with Bush and how awkward that must’ve been. Hi, pleasure to finally meet you. Yeah, I’ve been publicly railing against you for two years and your utter and complete incompetence is what got me in here, but I love what you’ve done with the place. What is that wallpaper, taupe?
Good riddance political writing. I leave you now to the people that know what they’re talking about. The pundits and the political scientists and the press. It was fun for a while there, and certainly necessary, but I ain’t sad to say goodbye. I got better things to write about. Like whether Lindsay’s family is really okay with her dating a woman, and how it’s totally fair for Jen to call Angelina “uncool.”
So, look forward to the future of Geelastic. It’s only getting better from here.
