As anyone who’s ever had a birthday knows, they get you to thinking. And I’m no different. And, fortunately enough for the following five hundred words, I have a birthday coming up. The big 2 6. Which, at first, seems a rather innocuous aging. What’s the big deal? All of the big birthdays end in a 5 or a 0 and every other one is just filler, right? Well, I’m not so sure. I think turning twenty-six from twenty-five is actually a pretty big deal.
Because last year we could all make those quarter-life crisis cracks. Ha ha. That could be the subject line of our invitations and the theme of our parties. It was something to celebrate, turning 25. It actually felt good, stout. A nice solid age. Mid-twenty.
But turning twenty-six from twenty-five is a whole nother story. A line has been drawn in the sand of time at twenty-five, and we, I, are now stepping over it. And I’m not being fatalistic or morbid, I know turning twenty-six means I should still have many more birthdays to bash, but I do know that this particular progression does means a few things. There are definitely some realistic truths about turning twenty-six from twenty-five.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from a partier into an alcoholic.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means going from having your whole life in front of you to realizing you have a whole chunk behind.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means moving from closer to your college graduation to closer to your high-school reunion.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means switching from remembering the good old times to reminiscing about them.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means you may be the oldest person in the bar.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means transitioning from figuring out what you want to do with your life to finding out what you can’t.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from checking that girl out to creeping that girl out.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from narcotics to pharmaceuticals.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from having dreams and setting goals to having dreams and setting alarms.
Turning twenty six from twenty-five is switching from standing parties to sitting ones.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means graduating graduate school, or going to graduate school, or remaining in graduate school.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means your band didn’t make it.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means it’s time to look for a new job. Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from having to fake it to having to accept the reality of it.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from single and ready to mingle to single and ready to marry.
Turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from saying yes to everything to saying no to most things.
But, above all else, turning twenty-six from twenty-five means turning from having to give a fuck to never again having to give a flying one.
And that I wouldn’t trade for twenty-five more years of the most blissful of youth. That’s the thing. Sure, there’s a lot to be depressed about when leaving behind your mid-twenties and entering early to your late ones, but there’s a lot to be relieved about as well. You made it. You survived the bullshit of the first 25. Of trying to impress, of needing to make friends, of having to get in, fit in, stay in. You’re done with all that nonsense. Now you can just kick up your slippered feet, let your belly hang out, put your hand down your pants, and sip on some juice.
There’s nothing better in this life than getting older. One less year you got to worry about. Everyone’s so afraid of aging. Why? Nothing new ever happens in your memory. No one ever wonders what the prior will hold. The past has all been lived before—the living is in the aging. Oh to be young again! And what, have to get braces and boners for no reason. Have to have sleepovers and take multiple choice tests. Have to be afraid of what comes next. I guess the fear of getting older is that your one step closer to that final destination. But, when it comes to destinations, would you rather be heading forward into the womb of the unknown, or backwards, into the womb of, well, you know. You can have your innocence.
So I welcome turning twenty-six, and all the suckiness that comes with it. I welcome taking the sandy step to this new lame line. I welcome being a creep. I welcome the complete lack of giving a fuck this opportunity presents me with. I welcome the wisdom. Even if it means turning into a lecherous old man with a prescription pill problem who stares at younger girls in bars they no longer belong in, makes inappropriate jokes a little too loud, and skeeves them all out while downing one too many whiskeys. I welcome that as well.
And now your trivia for this week:
The Films of Brendan Fraser
1) Let us begin the round by clearing up any confusion. Fray-zer not Frasier. The Fraser’s first leading role and the one that brought him into all of our hearts was, of course, as a resurrected caveman in Pauly Shore classic Encino Man. For one point what was the name, an evolutionary pun, of Fraser’s character in the film?
2) In an eerily similarly plotted film Brendan Fraser takes the lead as Adam in the fish out of era nuclear holocaust film Blast From the Past. In the film he plays a child born in a bomb shelter during the heyday of Cold War paranoia. When the shelter is opened 35 years later Fraser emerges to a world that is all new to him. Once again, hilarity ensues. Amidst the hilarity Adam manages to find love, with, ready for it, Eve, a card store employee that he will eventually marry. Name the actress who plays Eve in this cinematic gem.
3) Brendan Fraser, unfortunately, has never been nominated nor won a single acting award. I know, a travesty and an injustice. But Brendan has been in a movie that received an acting nomination, in fact two or them. Name the 1998 film in which Ian Mckellan and Lynn Redgrave, the two principles not named Brendan Fraser, were nominated for acting Oscars.
4) J Troplong Ward was an American creator and producer of numerous animated shows. From Rocky and Bullwinkle to Crusader Rabbit and many in between he created a plethora of cartoon classics. Two of these cartoons, in addition to Rocky and Bullwinkle, were even adapted to live-action movies, and oddly enough, both starred Brendan Fraser. One was released in 1996 and one was released in 1999, and for two points, we want you to name both.
5) Brendan’s biggest box office success has come in the much beloved Mummy series, with each movie grossing well over 100 million dollars. Yes, even the most recent one that came out this summer. For two points: What was the full name of this third Mummy film?
6) I want someone to very pleasantly surprise me on this one. One of my favorite Fraser films of all time has got to be 1994’s comic masterpiece Airheads. About a rock band that hijacks a radio station in order to get their music some airplay, the film features an all-star cast. Making up the rock band in the film is Fraser, Adam Sandler, and Steve Buscemi, and what, for a very solid 2 points, is the name of their rock and roll band.
Answers
1) Link
2) Alicia Silverstone
3) Gods and Monsters
4) George of the Jungle and Dudley Do-Right
5) Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
6) The Lone Rangers
