RNC Meeting
INT. Bondage club – NIGHT
ERICK BROWN in a pair of khakis with a navy blazer and tie is handcuffed standing up to an X-Cross at the head of a conference table. 4 men in suits and a blonde woman in a suit sit at the table.
BROWN: So, as we know, we’ve gathered here today to discuss our strategy for the midterm elections. I really think that with hard-work and the right message we can take back the house and re-assume a dominant position. Rosser, how are our polling numbers looking?
ROSSER: Pretty good boss. We’ve made significant in-roads with independent voters and our initial ballot counts in key districts looks very positive.
BROWN: Fantastic. That’s what I like to hear. And don’t think for a second that our people in D.C. aren’t very happy and appreciative of your work out here.
A DOMINATRIX enters the room with a whip and a ball-stretcher. She fastens the ring of the ball-stretcher around Brown’s nuts (over his khaki’s) and begins hanging weights from it.
BROWN: Now, the Democrats are going to try to paint us in the media as merely an obstructionist party. They’re going to say that we’re a party that doesn’t stand for anything. So we need to aggressively combat that by vocalizing what it is we do stand for. Which is what Tompkins?
The dominatrix begins flogging Brown.
TOMPKINS: Smaller government. Faith. American family values. Patriotism. And defending the constitution of the United States.
BROWN: Excellent. And how are we going to go after the Democrats?
CONNOLY: By showing the American people the path towards socialism that we are currently treading on, and asking them if that’s what they really want.
BROWN: Yes!
The dominatrix stops the whipping.
BROWN: What? Why’d you stop?
DOMINATRIX: You used your safe word.
BROWN: I did? What was it again?
DOMINATRIX: Yes.
BROWN: Oh, right. Shit. It just slipped out. Please proceed.
DOMINATRIX: I’ll be right back.
Dominatrix exits and re-enters with a spanking bench. She bends Brown over the bench and begins hitting him with a cat o’ nine tails.
BROWN: Now where were we?
ROSSER: Socialism.
BROWN: That’s right. Socialism. This country is headed in a dangerous direction and we need to be the brakes on this out-of-control wagon that is barreling wildly off track. We must show the people that we are the party of restraint. No more big, frivolous spending. Whatever it takes. Whether it’s name calling.
DOMINATRIX: You little pussy bitch.
BROWN: Lying.
DOMINATRIX: You’re my favorite little pussy bitch.
BROWN: Or downright scaring the shit out of people.
A giant man in all leather and a black leather mask, with a Nazi arm-band and coat enters the room with a big wooden spanking paddle.
DOMINATOR: Universal health care for all!
Smacks Brown one time really hard in the ass and exits.
BROWN: There’s no such thing as playing dirty when it comes to the fate of our country.
As Brown talks the Dominatrix unbuttons his shirt and puts nipple clamps on him, with a cord coming out that connects to an electronic controller. She turns a dial up and down.
BROWN: There is nothing we shouldn’t try. No stone we should leave unturned. This election will be as important as any in the history of our party. In the history of our country. And just to ram that point home, I’d like to introduce a very special guest– Chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele!
MICHAEL STEELE enters the room in a suit and wearing a wooden box with a hole cut out for his face on his head. The people at the conference table clap excitedly.
STEELE: That’s right! It’s me, the Steele man! Sup bitches? As a display of my gratitude I wanted to come here personally and deliver mad props and some words of thanks. But first—
Steele claps his hands and woman in a sexy nun outfit with a short skirt enters. Steele lies on top of the table and the woman mounts the box. Steele begins delivering a monologue but the whole thing sounds muffled. The people at the table look around confused.
NUN: I think what Chairman Steele was trying to say is…God Bless the Republican Party. And God bless The United States of America.
Blackout.
