Apparently The University of Tennessee wants to be irrelevant in men’s basketball again by firing Bruce Pearl this week. That is clearly this A.D.’s agenda. Mike Hamilton. Who also hates winning NCAA games. I just read a statement from him. It was terse. But that was his overall point.
Just so you know, the History section on the Tennessee Volunteers basketball Wikipedia page is the same length as the section called “Bruce Pearl Turnaround.” That’s right, I quoted Wikipedia. And if you trust those who use the Internet, this means Bruce Pearl was more important than 100 years of Tennessee basketball. In five seasons. He should be hung from the rafters, not chased out of town. His jersey, that is. Alongside Ernie Grunfield.
Do you know who really fired him? This guy called Jimmy Cheeks. Jimmy Cheeks the Knoxville Chancellor. Now that sounds like a guy I’d buy illegal booze from. Now that’s a name with some umph. He sounds like he belongs on Showtime. This guy Jimmy Cheeks, he didn’t want Bruce Pearl around no more. So, bye-bye Brucie.
This is the Tennessee Men’s basketball program were talking about here. For the first time ever. Why else would we ever have talked about the Tennessee Men’s basketball program before? Because they sucked? That would be about it. And Bernard King. But besides that, Tennessee men’s basketball was irrelevant.
Until Bruce Pearl. And isn’t relevance a coach’s greatest attribute? And the only thing any fan truly wants. I’d say so. It means the team is playing well, and younger players know. It means your team matters. Reputation is half the game. The first half. And then the players decide. In recruiting and rebounding.
Sometimes you just gotta let the dust settle. It was a cook-out for Christ’s sake. Not literally, of course. But, is that not the most wholesome rules infraction in the history of organized athletics? A barbecue. He was serving burgers and cole slaw. He’s gotta get fired for that?
Now of course he lied about it. But so what? The NCAA was gonna have to get off his ass at some point soon. Just so he could sit down. You got him NCAA. But enough is enough. Enough was enough, now enough is enough. Let the guy be. He cried on TV. I saw him do it. With Seth Davis. I think they were holding hands.
How is Magic Johnson the spokesman for Dove soap? The first association I have with Magic Johnson is never, ever, clean. C’mon Dove. Couldn’t you get Bill Lambeer? Or Barry Bonds? Or Pig Pen? Or, literally anyone else. I love Magic. I just don’t want him selling me soap.
So, goodbye Bruce Pearl. Until we meet again. Probably some time soon when you immediately take another school to the tournament. And goodbye Tennessee Men’s basketball program. It’s been great knowing you these past five years. I don’t think I’ll be hearing from you again for a while. And I definitely won’t stay in touch.
