According to the media all anyone in America wants to talk about in this current economic climate is jobs. That’s the engine that’s driving “the debate.” That is what Obama is failing to grasp. My question is, who the hell wants to talk about jobs? Not people with them, they’re sick of them, and not people without them, they’re sick of looking for them. Truth be told, I don’t think anyone enjoys talking about jobs.
For example, I just got fired. Want to hear about it? Of course not. Because I would bore you with some story about how it was bullshit, and you would be thinking I bet he didn’t do a very good job, and I’d be rambling on about office politics, and you’d be thinking man this is boring, and then at the end I’d talk about how it was a blessing in disguise, and you’d think yeah good luck you pathetic loser.
Or how about this. I love my job. Want to hear about it? Of course not. Because I’d just be talking about how I feel so fulfilled, and you’d be thinking what a pompous asshole, and I’d be like I just love what I’m doing I just love going to work every day, and you’d be like god I hope he dies, and I’d be like I’m just so lucky, and you’d be like what an awful human being.
I hate my job. Want to hear about it? Of course not. Because I’d be like, oh my fucking job it’s the worst, and you’d be like at least you have a job, and I’d be blathering on about all this nonsense that doesn’t affect your life in the least, and you’d be like yeah every job sucks I bet it’s not that bad, and I’d be like no it is that bad you don’t understand my boss is such a moron, and you’d be like yeah welcome to the world you spoiled brat.
There’s literally nothing worse than talking about jobs. It is the tiniest and most tepid of the small talk options. I’d rather talk about the weather with a meteorologist. Like literally get a lecture on cloud formations and what makes precipitation precipitate. I’d rather look at your pictures. Every one of them and read the captions. I’d rather sit in awkward silence………………..
What do you do? Oh really. That’s so interesting. Just so interesting. Tell me more about it. I really want to hear everything about your job. The ins and outs. What you do on a daily basis. Everything. Anything you can tell me about your job I would just love to hear. Because I can totally relate. What a great conversation were having. I’m so glad I asked. That was fascinating.
Here’s what you learn if you talk about jobs. Everyone hates them. I went out for drinks with a friend and she was working in London on the new Martin Scorsese movie. I asked her how that was. She told me she hated it. I have a friend who works at a non-profit planning events to raise money for children’s cancer. She hates it. I have a friend who went to law school to be a lawyer, then they were hired at a law firm, now they are a lawyer. They hate it. Let’s face it, jobs suck.
The only thing the work force has done for me so far is force me to do shit I don’t want to. That’s the name of the game. What can you suck up and deal with? What can you do every day that you can cope with and not put a drill bit in your eye and turn that sucker on, and pays the right amount of money? Just how much crap can you eat, if it’s served with a side of chips?
And don’t get me wrong. I get it. Ya gotta work. I grew up with two Jewish grandmothers, Pragma and Tist. They were Romanian. Not the gypsy type, the mule-like salt of the earth type with broad shoulders. I get the value of a hard day’s work. I’m just saying I don’t want to talk about it when it’s done. And I don’t want to hear about yours. Who, in their right mind, wants to talk about jobs?
So then, what’s the point, that jobs suck and then you die? Sort of, I guess. But I guess more to the point is shut up about it. Let’s stop all this talk about jobs. This country does not need to be focused on boring chit chat. We need to focus on stuff like the tea party, Christine O’Donnell, and how Christine Hendricks gets hit on by both men and women. The stuff that really matters. Forget job creation. All that would create is more boring conversation. Obama should talk more about jobs? Why? So even less people actually listen to him? No one even wants to hear Obama talk about his job, and he’s got the worst one in the world.
There you have it. From here on out let’s put a moratorium on all job-related chatter. Unless of course if you hear of an opening. I’m looking.
